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We need to change our measures of success in 2023 to raise kind humans



Something I've been really gnawing and marinating on the last week or so of being a homeschool momĀ  being a parent:



What is my measure of success?



When I was a former teacher, it was very easy to have a measure of success.


You're given a certain amount of students that pass or fail.


They are given a certain grade point average.


They're accepted into certain colleges.


You get a certain amount of review stars or points or whatever the equivalent would be from your supervisor.


And so you know if you're doing a good job or not.


As a parent, a lot of people take these measurements of success saying well,


ā€œmy son turned into a doctor - or to a lawyerā€


ā€œmy son went to x-college.ā€


ā€œTherefore I was a successful parentā€


I would argueĀ  that is not a good basis of if you aā€ successfulā€ parent- or how well you doing at your job.


A lot of what's frustrating in my mind is ā€œa successā€ in your parenting is not based on If your kids go to x college and become X, it's actually how how they deal with problems- how they raise their children, how they choose to be a kind human, maybe make choices in their life that are beneficial to others.


May they are living sacrificially, maybe they being a good friend.


Those are things that can't really be measured by an ā€œA+ā€, or an ā€œFā€.


It is frustrating.


I am a very type, ā€œAā€ personality when it comes to being a ā€œsuccessfulā€ person.


Well, I have this number of ā€œlikesā€ on my page-I have this number of sales in my bank. I have this number of zeros in my bank account, therefore, I was a ā€œsuccess,ā€ Therefore my small business was a ā€œsuccess.ā€


It’s hard to put those numbers on a parenting scale.


Does anybody else struggle with what a good measurement of ā€œsuccessā€ is?


What does that looks like in real life for raising ā€œsuccessfulā€ kids and for raising emotionally healthy kids.


What about raising kids in this 2023 world and what that looks like.


I would love to hear y'alls opinion about ways that you see, ā€œsuccess-ā€ ways that you feel like, ā€œman. It's is this worth it.ā€


Or ā€œI love it when my kids do thisā€¦ā€


For example, I tried - I attemptedĀ  a ā€œpi dayā€ theme last year, (March 14.)


ā€œWe’re going to measure circles.ā€


ā€œWe're going to take a bike ride.ā€


ā€œWe're going to make a pie.ā€


ā€œWe're going to eat Pizza.ā€


ā€œWe're going to watch all these videos on YouTube about pies and the pi symbol.ā€


None of my kids wanted to do any of it.


And they just were so frustrated. They said, ā€œWhy do we have to do this?ā€


ā€œWe’ve done this every year.ā€


So it made me feel like I'm a failure as a homeschool mom.


ā€œIf my kids are choosing not to do my super fun activity, maybe I don't know what they would like.Ā  Why try doing anything fun-do anything creative?ā€


ā€œWhy bother if I'm just gonna hear criticism?ā€


ā€œMaybe I'm not a good teacher, you know?ā€


I'll take that very very hard.


I feel like I'm a failure and then maybe I'm just not a good teacher, you know?


And I'll take that to heart, really, really deep.


Again, these are ramblings of a mom who is really trying to figure out measures of success.


What do you feel like are measures of success in your parenting-That can be measured?


Whether itĀ  be a conversation- or vocabulary of Your kids. Or maybe theĀ  types of acts of being a kind human - or to help others.


I would love to know because I just hear so many different things from different people, and so many different opinions about this.


And again, I might be the minority, but I don't think that we need to measure our parental success based on what school they go to.


I don't know. Those are just some ramblings.


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