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We need to change our measures of success in 2023 to raise kind humans



Something I've been really gnawing and marinating on the last week or so of being a homeschool mom  being a parent:



What is my measure of success?



When I was a former teacher, it was very easy to have a measure of success.


You're given a certain amount of students that pass or fail.


They are given a certain grade point average.


They're accepted into certain colleges.


You get a certain amount of review stars or points or whatever the equivalent would be from your supervisor.


And so you know if you're doing a good job or not.


As a parent, a lot of people take these measurements of success saying well,


“my son turned into a doctor - or to a lawyer”


“my son went to x-college.”


“Therefore I was a successful parent”


I would argue  that is not a good basis of if you a” successful” parent- or how well you doing at your job.


A lot of what's frustrating in my mind is “a success” in your parenting is not based on If your kids go to x college and become X, it's actually how how they deal with problems- how they raise their children, how they choose to be a kind human, maybe make choices in their life that are beneficial to others.


May they are living sacrificially, maybe they being a good friend.


Those are things that can't really be measured by an “A+”, or an “F”.


It is frustrating.


I am a very type, “A” personality when it comes to being a “successful” person.


Well, I have this number of “likes” on my page-I have this number of sales in my bank. I have this number of zeros in my bank account, therefore, I was a “success,” Therefore my small business was a “success.”


It’s hard to put those numbers on a parenting scale.


Does anybody else struggle with what a good measurement of “success” is?


What does that looks like in real life for raising “successful” kids and for raising emotionally healthy kids.


What about raising kids in this 2023 world and what that looks like.


I would love to hear y'alls opinion about ways that you see, “success-” ways that you feel like, “man. It's is this worth it.”


Or “I love it when my kids do this…”


For example, I tried - I attempted  a “pi day” theme last year, (March 14.)


“We’re going to measure circles.”


“We're going to take a bike ride.”


“We're going to make a pie.”


“We're going to eat Pizza.”


“We're going to watch all these videos on YouTube about pies and the pi symbol.”


None of my kids wanted to do any of it.


And they just were so frustrated. They said, “Why do we have to do this?”


“We’ve done this every year.”


So it made me feel like I'm a failure as a homeschool mom.


“If my kids are choosing not to do my super fun activity, maybe I don't know what they would like.  Why try doing anything fun-do anything creative?”


“Why bother if I'm just gonna hear criticism?”


“Maybe I'm not a good teacher, you know?”


I'll take that very very hard.


I feel like I'm a failure and then maybe I'm just not a good teacher, you know?


And I'll take that to heart, really, really deep.


Again, these are ramblings of a mom who is really trying to figure out measures of success.


What do you feel like are measures of success in your parenting-That can be measured?


Whether it  be a conversation- or vocabulary of Your kids. Or maybe the  types of acts of being a kind human - or to help others.


I would love to know because I just hear so many different things from different people, and so many different opinions about this.


And again, I might be the minority, but I don't think that we need to measure our parental success based on what school they go to.


I don't know. Those are just some ramblings.


 
 
 

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